When talking to children about Alzheimer’s, honesty is best policy

Having an honest and open conversation about Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias with children is a very important topic since more and more grandparents of young children may manifest signs of memory impairments during regular interactions with them.

Undoubtedly a situation like this is very difficult for both the individual affected, the children and the entire family. It is almost normal for adults facing this moment to avoid it, not talk about it and possible to hide the condition to “protect” the children from “unnecessary” stress that the topic may generate in them. However, I think that despite these risks the general rule should be not to hide the truth to the young ones. In fact, it is important that they understand the reasons behind the changes in memory that “grandma” has been recently manifesting.

Some adults may adopt to explain what’s going on using very generic justifications like “there is nothing wrong, she is just old, this is part of getting old.” Although this approach may be seen as protective for the children, it can increase the sense of anxiety in them who may think that if this is the case so their own parents will the manifest the same when they get older!

It is always a good idea to tell the truth about the medical condition and provide as much as possible appropriate basic information on it, such as that the disease is not the result of an infection, is not contagious and does not necessarily happen to all the people when they get old. We should not hide that currently there is no cure for it and that with time all the symptoms could get worse. However, at the same time we need to reassure them that as a family we can help the loved ones with dementia by being closer to them and not isolating them, involving them in various activities, and interacting with them without fear but only love, empathy and compassion.

If necessary, we could also use tools that help for a better understanding and acceptance of the disease. For instance, there are plenty of resources that can be used, such as printed materials or online materials which are provided for free by local, national, or international organizations that specifically deal with the disease (i., e., Alzheimer’s Association).

In conclusion, let’s not hide the truth and be open with children about the condition that is affecting memory of an older member of the family without fear that this disclosure could create stress and discomfort in them. Knowledge means empowerment and this can only generate positive effects and reactions towards the affected individuals even in children.

Dr. Domenico Praticò is a professor of neuroscience and the founding director of the Alzheimer’s Center at the Lewis Katz School of Medicine, Temple University, Philadelphia.