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A gratuitous offer: My years of experience with dining and tipping

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If there is one thing in life I’ll never understand it is this … Why would a waiter or waitress, whose very livelihood depends on the tips they earn, be unfriendly or act miserably to their customers? I have eaten in a lot of establishments on both sides of the Delaware River and it never ceases to amaze me when I come across such a server. I can even tolerate incompetence as long as the person is trying their best and is at least acting in a friendly manner.

I am a good tipper. I appreciate the fact that servers make their living on tips and I usually will leave at least 25 percent. Besides, being a good tipper usually assures me that I’ll get great service on my next visit as I tend to seek out those servers I know do a good job. However, as I look back on my many business meals and those with family and friends, some experiences come to mind that were less than pleasant. That being said, in all of my years, I have only not left a tip on one occasion.

A few years ago, I had breakfast with one of my customers at one of our local diners. A new waitress approached to take our order. She seemed friendly enough and after she brought the coffee, I placed my order for a ham and cheese omelet with an English muffin.

Then I said, “I don’t want any home fries, please bring me a fruit cup instead. She acknowledged the order.

After about 10 minutes she brought out the food. My customer got his creamed chip beef on toast, which is what he wanted. I got my omelet, my English muffin and enough home fries on my plate to feed me, her and my customer! When I asked her if she remembered me saying I wanted the fruit cup instead of the fries, she looked at me and said, “Do you want me to leave the potatoes on the plate?” I said that I didn’t and then she brought me the fruit cup with the potatoes removed. It seemed strange to me that she seemed more interested in where the unwanted potatoes ended up than apologizing for the error. Apparently, this all made her a bit gun shy and she never returned to check with us and refill our coffee cups, avoiding our table at all costs.

After getting our second cup from the cashier, who saw we were empty, I called the waitress over to get the check. When she finally reappeared, she gave me the check, smiled and said “Have a great day.” That was good enough for me. I gave her a $5 tip on an $18 bill. I figured she may have been a rookie and just made some rookie mistakes.

“I said to the waitress, “Maybe I’m crazy, sweetie, but I thought it’s your job to go and
bring us the food so we can eat it?” With that she threw the check on the table and stormed off.

Then there was the time about 25 years ago at an Italian restaurant in nearby Mount Laurel, N.J. The owner of my company was a wealthy Canadian, who upon visits to the States would invite several of the sales staff and their families to dinner. He was a very generous man. As the 12 of us sat at the table, it came time for him to order. In the clearest language imaginable, he told the waiter that he wanted a filet mignon. He said that he wanted it very well done and he did not want to see the least bit of pink on that piece of meat. The waiter smiled because the order was placed with a friendly manner but the seriousness of the request could not be misunderstood.

So, after glasses of wine all around and some friendly conversation, out came the food. When the waiter brought the filet to the boss, I took one look and had to bite my tongue so I wouldn’t laugh. The filet looked like it was a piece of meat that was delivered right from the butcher shop … the rarest of rare. The boss was not pleased and refused to accept a replacement. I have no idea what that waiter was thinking when he put that filet in front of the boss but I know his face ended up as red as that beautiful piece of meat. I don’t think he received a hefty tip from his patron who ended up having a liquid dinner.

Which leads us to the one time I did not leave the server a tip. After working all morning, doing some strategic planning with two of our other managers, I decided to take them to lunch at a diner in Delran, N.J. I had been there many times and was usually very satisfied. Besides, Dennis was from Indiana and Fred lived in Warminster, Pa., so this diner would be a new experience for them. As we entered the diner, Fred noticed the large pastry case and being a chocolate lover, made mention of the beautiful eclair beckoning to him from its place of prominence. We sat down and ordered from a middle-aged waitress that I hadn’t seen before. She didn’t look too happy but was polite enough. When we were finished our lunch, she came back and asked if there was anything else we needed. My chocolate-loving friend is also an extremely polite, soft-spoken guy and in his nicest voice said, “Ma’am, if you would be so gracious, when I walked in here I saw a chocolate éclair on the top left shelf of your pastry case. Would you please bring it to me?”

The woman went nuts!!

She screamed, “What do you think I am? I can’t be running all around the restaurant getting you stuff. I have all of these tables to take care of. Go get it yourself.” The three of us looked at each other dumbfounded. I looked around to see if we were on “Candid Camera.” I said to the waitress, “Maybe I’m crazy, sweetie, but I thought it’s your job to go and bring us the food so we can eat it?”

With that she threw the check on the table and stormed off. We got up and left wondering if we had crossed over into the “Twilight Zone.” I left no tip and haven’t second-guessed myself yet.

Like I said at the outset, there are some things I’ll never understand but I do know that if your living depends upon the appreciation and generosity of others, it makes sense to be nice to them.

Charlie "Chico" Sacchetti

Charlie Sacchetti is the author of three books, “It’s All Good: Times and Events I’d Never Want to Change;” “Knowing He’s There: True Stories of God’s Subtle Yet Unmistakable Touch,” and his newest, “Savoring the Moments: True Stories of Happiness, Sadness and Everything in Between.” Contact him at worthwhilewords21@gmail.com.

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